"Okay, here it is,
your choice... it's simple, her or me,
and I'm sure she is really great.
But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big
pretend to like your taste in music,
let you eat the last piece of cheesecake,
hold a radio over my head outside your window,
unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.
So pick me, choose me, love me. "